Homecoming

My parents rolled into town today, on the 2p train from Chicago.

I've spent over a decade out of my parents' home and yet, whenever we're together, it's as if we picked up right where we left off. But not in the way you'd think, well, unless you really know my familia.

When we pick right back up where we left off, I'm not the 15 year old me living under their rules. Because, our relationship evolves along with us in the time that we're apart. Whenever we get together, I'm still me at whatever age I happen to be at, with whatever responsibilities I happen to have.

Honestly, when my parents are around, the biggest change is that I feel like a more complete me. I remember the parts of myself that have been around since the beginning of me, but that lay low because of the real and perceived pressures of living this life.

For example, I'd been pretty anxious about their arrival. At first it was because I thought they held something against our choice to move here rather than back to Chicago, then I thought they disapproved of my job at The Minuteman. As I fell even further into the land of the irrational I started worrying that they didn't like Nena. I started pretending they weren't coming, chalking up this belief to the fact that they hadn't bought their train tickets yet.

But last week, they bought them and their impending arrival into this new chapter in my life became real to me.

As I came to grips with their visit, I started remembering the parts of me that understands one incredibly important fact. My parents love me for me.

My parents' wisdom grants them the ability to understand the choices I've made in my life, for they've made some tough ones too. My parents' understanding moves them towards the more important step of approving of my choices.

Yes, I'm nearly 30 years old and my parents' approval still matters to me a great deal. But, being around them reminds me that I'm not living my life for them, and that I've never tried to do that. They've always raised me to understand that my life is my own, it's just that I forget these things when we're apart. On afternoons such as the one I just spent, I remember one of the most important things they've ever told me, that so long as I'm happy, they're going to approve of whatever choices I make.

Anyway, they've been in town for 9 hours now and it's a funny thing. It doesn't matter where we meet up, being with my parents always feels like coming home, even if it's my home they're coming into.