n e n i e

Wow, the Gear Daddies are playing a reunion show tonight at the Fine Line. Why am I only hearing this now, after I've already made plans to NOT be in The Minny tonight?

Sadly, the first time I ever heard of these guys was after their breakup. My ex-roommate John introduced me to the Gear Daddies summer after soph year at Carleton. We were living together in a sextet in Stadium for the summer and he, like Cody, absorbed Minnesota music like a sponge. "Have you heard these guys? They're great" John told me. Yeah, he was right- they are great.

Oh well, I guess I wasn't meant to be at the show. Plus- $26 is a bit steep for a concert ticket for me right now. (I say this now, watch me pay $30 to see Ani next month) But damn, that would have been a great, great show. I'll think of them tonight as I tempt 3:15 through the Dells, where all great Dream Vacations are taken.

Posted by nenie at 03:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

According to legend, the Right Reverend Peace once made the MadTown to NFLD run in 3hrs and 15minutes. I don't know how true this story is and I'm not too sure that I care. What I do care about is beating that seemingly unbelievable time. I've come close a few times, but I've never beaten 3:25.

I have two roadtrip modes: scenic and NASCAR. The NASCAR me is captivated by this benchmark, a benchmark made all the more intriguing by the idea of a guy with IL plates driving full tilt through WI.

When I was growing up, there was nothing scarier than a Wisconsin State Trooper. They were mythologized as predatory beasts that would not rest until they'd taken thousands of dollars from unsuspecting Illinois drivers who'd come up from Chicago to take in a totally commercialized version of nature. The Wisconsin State Trooper of my childhood imagination would stop at nothing, delighted in nothing other than pulling over some Fucking Illinois Bastard (FIB) and making him pay for the commercialization of the Dells.

This makes 3:15 that much more intriguing. To beat 3:15 I need to outsmart the Wisconsin State Trooper; go faster than they would want and not lose time and money by being pulled over by him. It's a difficult task, and one that I set out to accomplish on my drive to The Minny yesterday. In the end, I did the drive in 3:30.

I was so close, too. I did the first leg (MadTown to LaCrosse) in 1:45. I thought I'd set myself up beautifully for the second leg. Then, it started to snow.

That did it. I'll tempt fate by driving too fast on a dry road, but add the weather variable. . .I refused to risk my life like that. And so the mythological record of 3:15 will go untested yet again. My return trip will be at night, another time when I refuse to drop the hammer and let slip the dogs of war, as it were. Maybe next time, if there is a next time.

I'm running out of chances to bring 3:15 down. I know it's not really all that important in the grand scheme. It's just something the little boy in me, the one that believes the stories told of Wisconsin State Troopers and their hatred of the FIBs, wants to do so very badly.

Posted by nenie at 09:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, I'm all caught up from the trip to New Mexico. Scroll down a bit and you can read the backdated entries from my trip and Christmas.

It's been good to be home. I went out with Aretela and some other folks last night for her birthday. Sushi and Trivial Pursuit- it was almost a perfect night. Hippo Birdie, Gnu Aretela.

I haven't been doing too much, actually. I blogged, I wrote a first draft of my New Year's Letter and have watched my mom do laundry in the commercial breaks of the original movie marathon on Lifetime. I love my mom andher addiction to Lifetime Original Movies. Last night we watched this one where the HS's QB was dying of cancer. I laughed. . .I was supposed to cry, but the two of us were too busy laughing at the really, really bad acting. It was bad, even by Lifetime standards. And the actor playing the QB couldn't act straight. It was painful, he was supposed to be in love with this girl and well, it wasn't convincing. I wasn't convinced that he liked girls.

Yup, it's good to be home. Too bad I'm outta here on Monday morning. Anyone in The Minny with cable want to host me for Raw Monday night. Or, at least tape it for me. . .

Posted by nenie at 02:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

The holiday has been a good one. I scored Madden 2004 and Nightfire for my PS2, along with Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, A Rush of Blood to the Head and the new Ozo EP along with some nice shirts and a really sweet model of Wrigley Field. But the presents are only part of it.

This is my last Christmas in Chicago for a really long time, possibly ever.

I don't know how to take it, really. I didn't think it would be as important to me as it is. "We don't have any traditions." I've been telling myself for quite some time. I was wrong about that, really wrong.

In my family we wake up early and open presents. We show things off and smile and thank each other and worry that the other party won't like what we've gotten them. Afterwards, we retreat to the kitchen and listen to music while my dad makes arepas and coffee. We sit and talk and eat and call Chile and Colombia. We enjoy each others' company, relaxed because no one has to rush off and go to work. We're content to be in the moment.

Until today I hadn't realized the beauty of this tradition. In all honesty, I hadn't realized it was a tradition. It is, though, and its one that I'm going to miss dearly next year. It's part of growing up, I guess.

It's the only part I don't seem to like very much.

Posted by nenie at 11:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Damn it's nice to sleep in one's own bed.

Yeah, I talk shit about how this has never really been my bed. But at the end of the day there's something comfortably familiar about this room, this bed. I slept ridiculously well and awoke to find my parents watching TV in their bed. I talked to them for a while and they decided it was time to start the day. Dad and I took showers and headed out to begin our annual tradition of shopping for Mom's Xmas presents.

We've been doing this for as long as I can remember and it's a good time. We've got this down to an art, really. We're almost psychic, we know where the other one is at all times, we always know when to look up and approve/disapprove a gift selection. A few hours later we walked out of the mall done with our shopping. We're hardcore.

All in all the mall was surprisingly empty for the 23rd of December.

We picked Mom up and went out for lunch. I had a mission- keep Mom and Dad out of the house until Drieg called me to say it was OK for them to come home. Why? Because their Xmas present was being delivered.

We went back to the mall after lunch to finish up the shopping the three of us had to do. Yknow how empty the mall was earlier? Yeah, conditions had changed. The place was packed with panicking last minute shoppers. We weren't panicking, we knew what we wanted, so we went to Brooks Brothers and picked it up. After that we dawdled at few other stores before heading out to Starbucks. It was then that Drieg called- the eagle had landed. . .

I took Mom and Dad home and there it was. A new mattress. Drieg, Nena and I had all pitched in to get it. Why a mattress? Because the mattress they had on their bed was so old that I'm pretty sure I was conceived on it. Either that or it was purchased shortly after said blessed event.

Mom and Dad were speechless. I think we did good.

After that Drieg went to work and Mom and I enacted our version of the tradition Dad and I enacted in the morning. It was fun and we were home before the snow really started to fall. Yup, it's going to be a white Christmas here in Chicago. And for the 24th year in a row- it looks like it's going to be a good one.

Posted by nenie at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This space has been kind of dead as of late and with good reason. I was on vacation. I'm back, though. I'm at my parents' house and will be backdating and posting the vacation posts as they are written. . .so keep coming back and looking for said backdated posts. . .it was an interesting vacation. Let's put it this way. I flew Air Wisconsin this weekend.

See? I told you it was wacky.

Posted by nenie at 12:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

14 hours, 6 states, 2 planes, 2 cars and I'm in my parents' house. Albuquerque to Chicago- the hard way.

C'mon, how often do I do things the easy way?

Got up this morning at Z's. I won't say what time it was, let's just say Nena was alseep again before the sun came up. Over the weekend the terror alert had been bumped up to orange. I didn't know what I was going to find at the airport, but I knew that I had this desire to not think all this terror alert stuff was purely political. These are people's lives in the balance here and I have the sneaking suspicion that those in charge are playing politics with those lives.

The line at security was ridiculously long in Albuquerque. I looked at my watch and wondered if I'd get past security quickly enough to actually make my plane to Denver. Either I'm getting used to these lines or it actually moved through pretty quickly. I'm not terribly sure which it is, but I'll take either. Before I knew it I was through security- they had to run my jacket few the xray a few times, though. Apparently the way I folded it to put it in the bin obstructed the view of the pockets.

I got to my gate and saw they were boarding my row already. That's the way it should work, everything timed so there's no waiting. I was seated next to two really nice sisters from Maine who were on their way home for the semester. My plans for sleeping all the way to Denver were shattered as we spent the entire flight talking about art, life, relationships, traveling and families. It was a really good time and I hope they made it home in one piece. They had a quick layover in Denver, then on to Boston where they'd catch a bus to Portland and then drive a few hours home. It was almost as crazy as the day I ended up living.

Off the plane in Denver to discover that I was on a commuter flight to Kansas City, on Air Wisconsin. Air Wisconsin? Yeah, Air Wisconsin. I switched terminals via the really cool tram they have at DIA and went up the escalator into Terminal A to find it deserted. The United Terminal at DIA is always alive and vibrant. This terminal. . .wasn't. I made my way to my gate and sat down for 20 mins or so before we were all borded.

The plane was a CanadaAir model with 60 seats. With fewer than 30 people on the plane, everyone got their own row. It was awesome. It reminded me of flying Vanguard back in the day. All that room, so few people. It was a relatively uneventful flight and I managed to get a quick nap, though not the totally dead to the world 90 minutes I'd wanted when I boarded.

When we landed in Kansas City I was still enraptured by the concept of Air Wisconsin. For some reason it was just a really, really funny concept. I kept trying to make up fight song lyrics for it, to the tune of "On Wisconsin."

Air Wisconsin
Air Wisconsin
Fly-ing through the air
Non-stop service to Appleton and O'Hare

And so on. If only I knew more to that song than the chorus.

Air Wisconsin was a bit disappointing, though. No cheese on the flight- just pretzels. It just didn't live up to the image that popped into my head when I heard the words "Air Wisconsin." Man Air Wisconsin, who knew?

I found Arturo in the parking lot without any trouble, and I started out for Ames, IA. I was planning on spending the night at Gen. Belgrano's place but there wasn't anyone home when I called. I soldiered on towards Iowa, though- stopping to grab lunch and some cash on the way. Traffic through Missouri was incredibly light but what little traffic there was- was moving very quickly even with the on again, off again rain that I was encountering.

The rain was on again more than anything else through Missouri and when I reached the Iowa border, it ended. Completely. That was it, nothing else. Encouraged by the dry roads, the semis started going even faster than they had before and I was right there with them.

I reached Des Moines in the early afternoon and called the General. Still no answer. As I flew through Des Moines I had a choice to make. If I took I-35 I'd go to Ames, and stop for the day. If I took I-80 I'd go to Chicago. I hadn't slept much the night before and so there was the very real possibility that I wouldn't be able to stay awake all the way to Chicago and have to get a hotel room for the night. . .In the end I decided to balls it. I was going to sleep in my parents' house tonight. I called and left a message for the General and then called my mom to tell her to make sure there were clean sheets on the bed in my old room. Her boy was coming home.

Traffic flew by and I ended up in a mile long caravan headed East on I-80. I started listening to NPR and ended up hearing All Things Considered 3 times on my way home. Every time an NPR station would go out, I'd look for a new one, only to find that that station started their All Things Considered broadcasts 30mins after the station I'd just lost.

Interstate driving in the dark is a strange beast. You barrel through the darkness, unsure of what is around you. All you can see is what is ahead and what is behind. As the sun started to go down, I took in the scenery- filing it away so I'd have something to imagine once the periphery was denied me.

This was a totally different world from the one I'd been in 10 hours earlier. Gone were the mountains and the Sun. Clouds and vastness had replaced them.

Before I knew it I was in Illinois, and sooner than that I found myself in the Suburbs, racing towards my parents' exit.

There I was, the Woodfield exit, days before Christmas. The mall parking lots were packed and the roads around them bustling with activity. This was home. As much as I loved my time in New Mexico, this would always be home to me. In New Mexico I felt awed by something larger. Here I am connected to something larger, I am in an imagined community whose mystery fascinates me. I am home.

Here I write, in my old bedroom- surrounded by memories of what seems like the ancient past. My travels are not yet at an end, but for now- they feel like they are.

This, is home.

Posted by nenie at 11:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Long day, really, really long day. Although it did border on amazing at points for a midwestern kid like me. I met the priest that's going to marry me today. Thing is, he lives a solid two hours away in a town north of Santa Fe. Check a map people, it wasn't the straightest line between point a and point b.

Got up this morning, my calves and knees both still very angry at me for the amount of dancing I'd done the night before. I don't know if my feet hurt or not, either they didn't or they hurt so bad that the pain receptors had cut out to spare me the agony. Thing is, even with all the pain, last night was worth it. Damn did I have a good time. And I didn't even drink. Someday soon I'll re-integrate drinking into my fun routine, I don't know when, but soon.

We all showered and hit the road. Nena's dad and his bro into Albuquerque for mass and some shopping- Nena, her mother and I to other parts to do wedding stuff. The first stop was the local hotel/casino. This is really the only nice hotel for 40 minutes in any direction so my liking the place was kind of a moot point. However, it turned out to be just as nice as the website said it'd be. Truth in advertising, who knew?

It looks like the rehearsal dinner will be there as well. Which is a good thing. It gives me a bit of negotiating room with the room prices as well as puts everyone in one place the night before the wedding. Less travel for all concerned- and a pool. This is going to be fun.

After our quick tour of the casino we were back on the road. I'd volunteered to drive earlier in the day which allowed Nena and her mother to sleep while I took in the scenery. I'm still not bored with the views on the drive into Albuquerque, but it was nice to see something different once I hit I-25. As we snaked our way north we could see storm clouds off to the west. It was amazing, dark fingers reaching towards the mountains from the heavens. It reminded me of a softer version of a midwestern thunderstorm. The kind that you see coming, slowly from the horizon, it's dark tendrils marching through the fields towards you.

The drive to Santa Fe was beautiful, Nena and her mother stopped to go to the bathroom at a rest area, and I wandered the grounds, looking at the silhouette of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains looming to the north, on the other side of La Bajada. Until today, I'd never seen a landscape as tempermental as my midwest.

The drive gave me an opportunity to think about landscapes and how they impact me. I've come to realize that the landscapes I love most are those that clue me into the presence of something greater than myself. The vastness of the midwest calls to mind that I am a speck in the grand scheme of things. That the land itself is a power greater than me- and that while technology has given me the power to cross her, and do battle with her- at the end of the day I am at her mercy.

Nena's world expresses the same truths, in completely different ways. The intrusion of mountains on the endless horizon break the sense of vastness that the flatness of the midwest gives. However, these mountains, so large and brooding serve as witness to the size of humanity, of our accomplishments. They are something larger than us, a physical reminder of how powerless we truly are to combat nature. It's a humbling thing to travel in the land of giants, maybe this force humility is one of the reasons I love it here. One of the reasons that it reminds me of home, making me feel just as welcome here as in Chicago or L-Town.

Lunch with the priest went well. He likes me, and he's excited to marry Nena off. He's known her since she was in elementary school, so his presence at our wedding carries a significance that is missing from all too many weddings. I could go on about this at length, but I think I'll save those ramblings for another day. After lunch, Nena and her mother napped while I drove back to Albuquerque. We stopped at a friends' and Nena's mother left us there while she continuted her own trip home. We rested and stretched out before going see MaModz and Steve-O.

MaModz was my guidance counselor and Steve-O was my RC while I was in high school. They're dear old friends, and they have a soft spot for Nena that is becoming a prevalent trend amongst friends of mine. MaModz made dinner and we drank wine and caught up with each other. Steve-O showed me his lastest line of "Existential Toys" and I regaled them with tales of the 6 years that have transpired since last I saw these two face to face.

I value my friendships. Growing up without an extended family to speak of, my friends have become my larger family. While I am constatnly aware of how much my friends mean to me, there are nights like tonight where it hits me that much harder. I've been blessed to know some incredible people and I don't know how to thank whatever larger force is responsible for that, other than to say thank you.

And now, we're back at Z's ready for bed. I have to be up entirely too early tomorrow to head back to Kansas City. It's going to be a long day. I really should get some sleep.

Posted by nenie at 11:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It's official- Nena's parents have put two kids through college.

It must be a nice feeling, this feeling of accomplishment. I remember the day Drieg graduated from college. The look on my parents' faces when graduation was all over. I don't think I've ever seen them happier, more at ease. They'd survived.

Not to say that their lives, or those of my in-laws is over at this point. But raising two children and putting them through college, there's something incredible about being able to look back at your life and see that you've done that.

College graduations are quickly becoming an interesting part of my life. My parents met Nena's the day before the two of us left Northfield. I'd just proposed to Nena when she accompanied me to Drieg's graduation. And there I was today, at Tryst's graduation, snapping pictures; finding my niche as family photographer.

Drieg graduated. And my tio came down with his family to witness the event. I don't think I'll ever forget that day. Nena and I had chaperoned prom the night before and were at the airport after an all too brief 3 hours of sleep. The flight to Chicago and the 3 hour drive down to D-Town had just about beat us up. By the time we got to the graduation, the graduates were already lined up outside the arena. There was Drieg, in his cap and gown- with his best friend Drew. It was one of those amazing moments that you never dream will ever happen if you live to see one thousand years. There was my brother, all grown up- standing there with his sister. Damn if I didn't want to cry at the sight of it.

Afterwards we went to dinner; an extended family for the first time. Tio and his family, Nena and mine. Amazing night, sitting there for hours talking about past and future- letting the present unfold before us like the road from Chicago to D-Town. In all of my delirium it really was one of the happiest days of my life. My family had found their way.

Tryst's graduation didn't have the poignance of that day- but it was special as well. I have long since felt like a part of Nena's family so this wasn't a milestone for that reason. It wasn't even the first major family event I'd witnessed. However, it was nice to be normal. My presence here today didn't mean anything extra than that of Nana. I'm part of the family now. I was supposed to be in that gym today.

After graduation we all raced back to town to perpare the bar for the big graduation party. That, was an amazing night. I spent a large part of the evening mingling amongst the assembled family and friends. Meeting some for the first time, checking in with others I hadn't seen or heard from in a while. The food, as always, was incredible. The company, as usual, was fabulous. I can't wait for my wedding, the party that will transpire, the joy that will come bounding down from the mountains and through the arroyos. To borrow from Drieg's lexicon. A-mazing.

Eventually the band showed up. They aren't really a band per se. They're just a bunch of regulars that show up and jam their way through weekend nights down at the Dixie. And jam they did. I pulled Nena out from behind the bar a few times and spun her around the hard concrete floor to the strains of "Folsom Prison Blues," "Kansas City" and assorted rancheras and old country standards. Damn, I love dancing with this woman. I also really need CK to teach her a bit of West Coast Swing. The woman really needs to have a bake sale of her own.

By the time I dragged Nena up the mountain to her parents house, it'd already been a long day. I know my body is going to be angry in the morning, but I really don't care. It was an amazing day, one I hope to relive on the other end one of these days. Just not any day too soon.

Posted by nenie at 11:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Someday I'll get used to waking up early to get to the airport. That day, however, was not today. Early flight out of KCI meant an early morning in L-Town. I wanted to be out the door by 7a. That didn't really happen, but I was close enough that I still got to the airport earlier than was really needed.

On the drive across Kansas the sun slowly came up in front of me. As I raced across the plains I saw cattle on the hills- ignoring me. Breakfast had been served beneath their feet and life was continuing onwards. Such is life in the midwest I call home. And that's what this feels like- home. I'm a midwesterner, I know that and make no apologies for it. I love my home, it's beautiful in its subtlety. The million shades of green turning into brown turning into black.

I love my home, and that's what Kansas is to me now. Home.

Check in went well and I plunked down in my seat to attempt to read Death of a Salesman. It's been entirely too long since I read it last and the theme of this break's reading is "Revisitation." Yes, I theme my readings. No, you can't laugh. Well, Alphasarah can- but the rest of you must be silent.

I got on the plane and settled into my seat when the older gentleman sitting behind me noticed my book. "Good book. Lot of truth in there." I smiled and agreed. "I know, I'm reading it again, it's been too long sicne the last time." His smile grew larger and he winked before he took his seat behind me. Bolstered by his glowing recommendation I put the book away and took a nap on the flight to Denver.

I didn't sleep a whole lot on the flight, but the flight to Denver was rather uneventful. The landing was even smooth- something that rarely happens when I'm on a plane landing in Denver. I had a 50 minute layover that went pretty well. Called my parents, called Nena- told them all I was alive. Got breakfast at Seattle's Best and took note of all the service men and women flying home for the holidays. Apparently a fair number of LDS missionaries were flying home as well. There were a million of them in the terminal at DIA. The whole place was a sea of drab green and men with white shirts, ties and LDS nametags.

Got into Albuquerque pretty uneventfully as well. I was sitting next to a guy who grew up in Albuquerque and currently lived in Hawaii. He was on the mainland for the first time in 2 years. Cool guy- we spent a bit of time talking about landscapes and how sometimes disparate landscapes speak to you. He's right.

Flying into New Mexico I could hear the landscape speaking to me. So different from the one I knew growing up. Not a polar opposite- but still a strange one to love as passionately as I do the green flats of the midwest. It's good to be back here. It feels like home.

Nena was waiting for me outside of security. And we hung out waiting for her uncle to arrive. He was flying in for the holidays and was due to arrive a bit after I did. Once we collected him we headed out. The afternoon flew by: lunch with her parents and brother and then a trip to the photographer for the wedding. Well, she wasn't the photographer when we walked in, but she was when we walked out. Amazingly talented woman- I'm really looking forward to these pictures. Cody and CK will probably geek out when they see her work. I know I did.

And back to Cubero. We hit the Dixie on the way home so I could say hi to everyone. I love my new extended family. Laid back, fun, happy people. It really is the way life should be.

Nana was nice enough to let me tag along as she ran around to teh other bars in town and then out to see the xmas lights of Cubero. I'm starting to fall in love with this life. Away from the city, in a pickup truck. It's amazing to think of me in this place being as happy if you knew me years ago. But something has happened and I love it here.

Time for bed. Tomorrow is busy. Nena's bro is graduating from UNM and as such we have to be out the door early.

Posted by nenie at 11:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Earlier this semester I Photoshopped a sign for Office Hours. Cath liked it so much she requested some more Photoshopping. . .so I present to you Santa Hussein.

Two pictures there- one with just a hat. The other with the coat as well. Not the most sophisticated work, but it amused me for the time it took me to put it all together.

Man, someone remind me to get my packing done early tomorrow. I leave at 7a on Friday and it hasn't really hit me that I need to pack up for break. Silly Nenie.

Posted by nenie at 01:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I don't know where I got the idea that I'd have more free time once I was done with my classes for the semester. Wherever the idea came from, it was totally wrong. Maybe it's that I actually have a social life again- I forgot what being able to go out with friends was like. Not that I didn't enjoy my time in Maryville, it was just a different situation.

My world had been reduced to high school all over again. The only people around me that I could really interact with in any way were 16. And while these kidz were by and large really cool it just wasn't the same. Beyond that all I had was my coworkers and they were. . .interesting.

The bulk of them had all been friends/coworkers for the better part of a decade- and it showed. They seemed to be in this state of arrested development, unable to grow beyond a certain point. Regressing from their situation, from being surrounded by 16 year olds for so long. Going from college to that situation and out has been an interesting reawakening.

At any rate, life's been busy for me since I finished up earlier this week. The AMS 110 final was yesterday and now I'm waiting for the results to come in so I can finish working on my gradebook. The sucker's just sitting there, waiting for grades to come in so I can work my magic. Big fun, I tell you and fun that I need to eliminate from my life by 7a on Friday. That's when I leave for the airport for break. . .I could return after the weekend and finish grading, but I'd really, really, really rather finish up ASAP.

Here I am, sitting, waiting for testing services. . .WHOO! Aside from that it's been a pretty good few days. I finished up Monday and then proceeded to go home and watch TV without guilt. It was brilliant, I watched all sorts of crap and didn't feel the least bit guilty about any of, because I was DONE!!! I was rewarded in this televisual pleasure with one of the best Raw showings in a really long time. I really should review it. . .maybe later.

Yesterday was a nice day, working the final exam, answering questions and generally enjoying being on the other end of finals week. It's amazing. Ginsu talked about how his job is like seeing where babies come from and now I know what he was talking about. I know where finals come from and where they go when they die. It's amazing.

After chilling in The Vern for a while after the exam and playing some well deserved Jardinains! I headed home, watched more TV (including one of my favorite Simpsons episodes. It's the one where Bart joins a boy band.) and then headed out to The Meat Market to have dinner with friends.

It was crazy, an open ended dinner with people I can have conversations with. 2 hours of dinner, an hour of wandering L-Town and then back to my place to watch the Queer Eye Christmas Episode. Just a good time, yo. I guess the whole being busy thing makes sense when I think about it. I haven't engaged with other folks in so long, I'm making up for lost time. WHOO! Lost time.

Posted by nenie at 09:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

BOW BEFORE ME!!!
I AM CARLETON-ER THAN THOU!!!!

I scored a 89% on the "How Carleton are you?" Quizie! What about you?

Posted by nenie at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)

OK, first- a link.

http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/

It's just silly, really. Be warned, however. Cartoon does contain use of "The Thong Song." You've been warned.

In other news, the AMS 110 final was administered this morning. I'm nearing the end of the road and it feels really, really good to be this close to done. But DAMN if I'm not really wicked tired. I just want to take a nap. But first I want to eat and feel nourished. That hasn't happened in a few days. It's a really bizarre world to exist in, this one where you never feel like you've eaten.

Ugh, I'd go to bed right now if it weren't for the Queer Eye Christmas Special tonight. Damn.

Oh well, at least I have Chocolate Factory to keep me company.

Posted by nenie at 05:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yeah, I gave into the West Wing Quiz. . .

You're Josh. You're arrogant and intelligent, and
sometimes too sweet to be resisted. Your job
is almost everything to you, but you'd drop it
all to help out a friend, and they'd do the
same for you.


Which Senior Staffer From The West Wing Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

amusing, no?

Posted by nenie at 09:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Crazy few days here in L-Town. Finals week begins today, and as such, I've been busting ass trying to get things done. The fallout from the flu having made what was to be a really chill few days a bit less so.

Nena came to town this weekend, which was kind of unfortunate. Not that I didn't want her in town, it's just that the longer this LDR goes on, the harder it is for us to say goodbye at the end of the weekend. It's gotten so bad that we both kind of held off on actually being present with each other this weekend. We both figure that if we don't actually allow ourselves to enjoy each others' company it won't be so hard when we have to say goodbye at the end of the weekend.

Yeah, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard too. But we did it and we didn't realize it until after Nena got home tonight. Soon, soon this will all be over, right? I am actually going to live with this woman someday soon. Right?

With Nena gone I finished my paper for 892, leaving only one paper left for the semester. I can do this, I can finish out strong. I know I can. . .

Had a good time at the Winter Holiday Special Saturday night. It's amazing how nice it is to just forget work for an evening and spend time with my friends. Just one of those things that we forget to do, enjoy each other. So busy working and reaching that sometimes we forget the little things that make this all worthwhile.

I guess that's the lesson for the week. Remember to enjoy the little things. Remember to enjoy the people around you.

Word.

Posted by nenie at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I'm starting to feel better. I've been fever free for a pretty decent amount of time now, I'm sleeping through the night and I have most of my strength back. I think I'm going to complete the comeback on Friday with a trip to the Meat Market or Jefferson's. Why? Because I need a burger- really, really badly. If L-Town peeps want to joing me, give me a call.

But because life is never without amusement here in L-Town today was pretty eventful for my first foray in earnest out into the world

Last night L-Town was hit by a really nice ice/snow storm. This morning I awoke to about half an inch or so of the white stuff all over the place, with a lot of ice underneath it all. Yeah, it was fun walking to the bus today.

The plan was simple: bus up to campus, attend the last AMS110 lecture of the term, go back to my office, say hi to people, get on the next bus home, walk from the stop to my apt, take nap.

Things never work out the way you plan.

Once I got to campus I saw that the grades for the third midterm were posted, so I started putting those in my gradebook. I wasn't done when it was time to go to lecture, so I left it there and walked over to Wescoe. Lecture lasted 10minutes, so Cath and Amanda and I walked back to The Vern to talk to students. I held makeshift office hours while I finished entering in those grades. By the time I finished those, I decided to tie up every loose gradebook end I had. . .next thing you know it's 1:30p. I finish all that and go to the bus stop.

I see one of the regulars I strike up a conversation. We talk about how we're glad we're not driving on a day like today, with the roads all iced up and how we're glad we're getting on this bus, rather than the 2:20p since this driver is a much better driver on snow than we'd imagine the afternoon driver to be. We get on the bus and zip off campus, all the while noting how melted all the snow on the streets is.

Then, just as I was thinking, "Damn, Ron really can drive this thing, he's pretty hardcore." BOOM

We hit a 4Runner that'd run a stop sign.

We were at the intersection of 11th and Indiana going downhill on Indiana. There's no stop on 11th and there is one on 11th. The kid driving the 4Runner didn't bother to stop and tried to beat the bus across the intersection. Yeah, when you try to play chicken with a bus. . .you lose.

The big blue tank creamed the SUV's passenger side door. I saw the whole collision from my seat, it was an awesome sight to behold. Thankfully, the passenger in the 4Runner was unharmed. I don't know how she escaped unscathed, but she did.

Ron is, for the record, a wicked great driver. I'm amazed not by how much damage was done, but by how much damage wasn't done. He managed to get that tank to not cut right through that little SUV- between braking and steering.

None of the passengers on the bus were seriously injured. One guy across the aisle from me smacked his knee pretty good on the seat in front of him. They took him to the hospital to check him out.

Ron messed up his shoulder pretty badly as well. He hit it on something when we collided with that 4Runner. As exposed as the driver's seat is on these buses, it's a miracle he wasn't more seriously hurt. I really hope he's going to be OK.

I got home, tried to take a nap and went about my business. I was eating dinner when my phone rang. It was the chair of my dept.

"Hey Nenie, ever been to a KU basketball game?"

Turns out his wife is down with the flu and he has an extra to tonight's game and wants to know if I want to go with him.

I said no.

The words were coming out of my mouth and I couldn't believe they were. It was one of them out of body experiences the kids talk about on the TV. I had my reasons. The most important of which is: I had a 101 fever a few days ago, I need to get healthy.

I haven't had a fever in 30ish hours and I am at full strength. I totally could have gone. But it wasn't the responsible, grown up thing to do. I hate myself right now. I think I'm going to basketball hell.

I mean, as if sitting with the chair wouldn't have been enough. And it totally would have been, cuz he's a freakin' great guy. When I came to visit KU last winter we sat in his living room and talked shop until the wee hours drinking beer. Quality.

As if that wasn't enough. The man's been here for over 30 years. You know how great these tickets must be?

Man, brilliant seats at Allen Fieldhouse. And I said no. I'm totally going to basketball hell.

Posted by nenie at 09:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

This story comes to me courtesy of Fesser. He found it on ESPN.com.

The Chicago tavern mocked and immortalized on "Saturday Night Live's" "cheezborger cheezborger" skit is suing a Florida burger chain for allegedly stealing its trademark slogan. The Billy Goat, which is a bar and grill under Michigan Avenue, filed a federal lawsuit for trademark infringement. It's suing Cheeburger Cheeburger Restaurants, which is based in Fort Myers and has 32 restaurants mostly in the South and East.

Hrmmm, I don't know about this it strikes me as rather suspect. It's kinda like Microsoft trademarking 0's and 1's.

In other related news:

Who's with me? Peter Gammons as the next commishioner of baseball.

Just sayin'.

Posted by nenie at 09:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ugh.

You know that flu you've been hearing about on the news? I have it. Granted, this has been totally self diagnosed but all the signs are there. High fever, chills, soreness, tired all the time. This bad boy announced itself on Sunday morning with some incredible soreness. I hurt ALL OVER, yo. It was crazy. Then the cough started, it felt like it should be productive only it wasn't.

Then, Sunday night Cath was over and I started violently shaking. It was pretty scary, no matter what I did, I couldn't get warm. That's when I knew I was in for a rough few days.

The highest my fever ever got was in the 101 range, although we may never know because when the fever was at it's highest I was having trouble keeping the thermometer in my mouth long enough to get a good reading. Either my teeth were chattering too much, or the thermometer was making me gag.

After a day and a half in bed I'm turning the corner, which I guess sets me up for a relapse if I'm not careful. My fever broke overnight and I'm actually eating again. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't the last week of the term. So much crap to get done that I don't have time for this. Grrrr.

Posted by nenie at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I've been meaning to write the big summary of the trip to Chicago all week, but the time hasn't made itself available. Sometimes, though, you just need to make time.

I had a 6:40a flight out of KCI last Wednesday, which meant getting up before 4a. It was as painful as it sounds. I made it to the airport quickly enough and there really weren't any lines for anything. Granted, it was before 7a but all the same. I was expecting a bit more traffic through KCI.

Going through KCI this time was a bit strange for me, though. This is the third Thanksgiving in a row that I've spent flying from KCI to O'Hare. The first time it happened was the first Thanksgiving after I graduated from Carleton. At the time, I thought that this trip would be anything by habit forming. My soujurn through the midcontinent was going to be brief. This year's trip had a note of permanence to it that I'd never felt before. It finally hit me, this is where I live now, this is where I'm going to live for a while. And that's actually pretty OK with me.

Still though, it was a bit strange. I moved to the area right before 9.11 and I only had one pre-9.11 experience with the airport. The first time I flew through there was the Thanksgiving after, when we were all still trying to figure out what airports were going to be like from now on. I remember being strip-searched because of something I had on my keychain. It was my father's old volunteer firefighter badge; I keep it on my keychain to remind me of him wherever I go. It's brass and has an eagle on it with two crossed axes. Needless to say, the jittery security guy at KCI that morning was a bit worried that I might be some kind of militant. But, in a sign of the days we were living in, he was much more chill as soon as he heard the word "firefighter" come out of my mouth. "It's my dad's old firefighter badge." Suddenly, I was a prince among men. They were strange days, to be sure.

It was good to get back to Chicago, though. I have a strange affection for the United Terminal at O'Hare. It feels the way a homecoming should- peaceful and familiar. Whenever I walk through this terminal I sing to myself. The song depends greatly on the season. 11 months out of the year, it's a strange bastardized version of U2's "Angel of Harlem," with the words changed to fit my mood and Chicago. It's really kinda fabulous, walking through O'Hare- listening fat Stevie Wonder-esque horns that only you can hear. I highly recommend it.

But being the beginning of the Christmas season, that song was replaced by Low's "Just Like Christmas." It really is the perfect Christmas travel song, it just sounds like crisp snow falling all around you. It's really, really cool. Again, highly recommended.

Drieg picked me up at the predestined time and we headed home. I put my stuff away and a bit later we headed out to Midway to pick Nena up. Her flight came in on time and soon we were on our way to Gunder's office to meet him, Belle and Belle's sister for lunch. We hit the Greek Islands for lunch, thereby introducing Nena to Greek Town. Aside from when the waiter nearly set Belle on fire, it was a really good lunch. One of those things that makes you realize how much you've grown up. In HS, if we went to a place like this we would have been pretending, acting grown up. Sitting there with, it didn't feel fake, it was real, and really cool.

Thanksgiving itself went well, it was nice to be with the family again. I don't forget that, it's just that I don't remember how much it means to me to be with them all.

Friday was relatively uneventful aside from the obligatory consumption of deep dish at Lou Malnati's. It's one of my family's culinary weaknesses and Nena fits in just fine in this dept. She's pretty addicted as well. We sat around, discussed wedding plans and our itinerary for Saturday.

Friday night Nena and I went to Bierz's housewarming party. Not too shabby a little pad. It was nice to see him as well as how well he's doing post college. Gunder and Belle showed up a bit later and we had one of those amusing moments when we realized that we'd monopolized one corner of Bierz's place. We were the old people in the corner. Yet, somehow, this was pretty cool to us.

Saturday morning Nena and I got up a bit late and headed out to the Museum of Science and Industry. Nena had never been, and it's one of my favorite museums, EVER. One of the fringe benefits, or main benefits for Nena was the Museum's "Christmas Around the World" exhibit. It's a bunch of Christmas trees decorated in the styles of a bunch of different nations. It was a pretty cool educational experience, actually. I learned that in Israel, they call Christmas "Hanukkah." Who knew?

After an afternoon at the MSI, we headed downtown where I showed her the lights and the BIG CHRISTMAS TREE in Daley Plaza. Then I took Nena to the Billy Goat Tavern. Those of you that know me, know what it means when I take someone to the Billy Goat. It means we're going to be friends for life- which is fortunate since I'm going to marry her.

After sucking down a cheeseborger and taking in the atmosphere, I took Nena home the long way. A trip up LSD to Irving and through Wrigleyville. I love home, and there was something incredible about sharing it with Nena.

Sunday came and went pretty quickly, I never like days when Nena goes someplace without me. It's the way things work right now, but it's not fun. She was off to MPLS, and I was gonna stay one more night in Chicago before returning to L-Town in the morning. I dropped her off at the security line and headed back to my mom's car for the drive home, without Nena.

I got in the car, turned it over and nothing happened.

My mom's car died in the parking garage at Midway. I was less than pleased. I called AAA, an hour later they sent a crew to test my battery. The battery was fine. An hour after that they sent another battery crew. When he confirmed the first crew's results he pushed me out of the garage with his truck. An hour later, three hours after my first call to AAA, the tow truck finally came. Thankfully, all of this was free.

Monday morning Drieg drove me to O'Hare and my brief trip home was over. My plane was delayed on approach into KCI and that wasn't too cool, but I survived. It was a good trip, though. Word.

Posted by nenie at 12:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I'm not a particularly hypermasculine individual. However, there are certain academic contexts I become this really amped up guy. It's part of why I couldn't ever be a scientist. When doing mathematical computations I get all hyper and start talking to the computations; telling them to "SUCK IT," etc.

I do the same thing when I write papers, as well. The difference is that I'm able to keep my head on straight when insulting a paper, or questioning it's paternity in a way that I'm not able to do with math. I make silly mistakes in the math that I don't make when I'm writing papers.

It's the last week of the term here at KU and I have two large papers due next week. The first is a historiography of suburbanization. Yeah, I'll get that one done. . .eventually. The first order of business is my paper for Intro to American Studies. It's a poorly defined paper, but near as I can tell it's supposed to be one of those "how did you come to your research interest/what do you want to do from here" kinds of papers.

That paper is now able to shit twice as fast, because I ripped it a new asshole today.

There we go, the end of the term has begun; I've just uttered my first hypermasculine statement of the term. It's only going to get worse. Hopefully, I won't pull a crotch chop after I deliver my final presentation in Intro on Tuesday. If I can supress things that long, I'll be doing really, really well.

To balance this out, I baked a cake today. Not just any cake, I made a Tres Leches. I should be relatively popular over the next few days as I pass out pieces of this sucker. OK, back to work. . .

Posted by nenie at 09:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Today: woke up, went to the gym, made a cake, watched KU blow that Stanford game, wrote 15 pages on 2 different papers and have spent the rest of my night on IM and the phone.

I had a great conversation with Tom last night. It was nice to catch up with him about what's going on right now, and revisit back in the day as well.

It got me to thinking about how the old "Hardcore" mantra doesn't seem so defensible in retrospect. The crazy shit I said and did in the heat of the moment, in moments I wouldn't let go- don't seem as understandable to the people in my life right now.

Hardcore Living.

A bunch of rules for living life in as hardcore a manner as possible. What was hardcore? I guess it was truth, ugly truth viewed in some sort of self-righteous light. The rules, man do I even remember the rules? I remember the prime directive, though.

To this above all, to thine own self be true

Hardcore living was about taking care of your own shit. Keeping your shit under control. As we used to term it, "keeping it together." When we saw others falter on the path to true hardcoreness we'd chuckle at the silly mortal and say to each other, "that's not keeping it together."

Being hardcore was about being honest with yourself, with those around you. It was about passion, living in the moment and memory. Don't forget, don't back down, lay out your terms and stick to them. If you're in the wrong- admit it and move on. But don't ever, EVER lie about being wrong. Stick to your guns, stick to the truth.

In retrospect, it still makes sense to me- for the most part. The self-righteousness of it all I can do without. But for the most part, it makes sense. Still though, the part about living life with passion doesn't translate well to others. The older I get, the more and more people that really don't get it, at all. I'm used to folks not getting the point, but. . .

Talking to Tom last night was good, I miss that guy. Thankfully, he gets it. Always has, always will.

Posted by nenie at 10:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I'm incredibly fortunate, this I know.

I'm a fortunate soul- really I am. I'm 24 years old: I'm being paid to do what I love, I know what I want to do, and I have my friends, family and Nena. Any bumps that might occur along the way are so minor, the tank that is my life rolls right over them without me much noticing.

I'm a pretty lucky guy.

I don't know where to go from there, but that's something that I needed to acknowledge. Watching the way some of my friends deal with things that come up in their own lives I realize how fortunate I am to not have some of those same issues. Not to say that I don't have issues of my own, because I do, it's just that I realize how lucky I truly am to have my issues rather than some of the others that are out there.

It's all pretty accidental, too. It's one of those "there but for the grace of God go I" sorts of things. Yes, I have a lifeplan- of sorts, but by and large I'm awed that the plan is working. Why does mine succeed while so many others fail? Or if they don't fail, they call for radical readjustments to account for the inevitable turbulence that comes as we walk the path.

Maybe it's that my plan counts on shit happening. It leaves me enough room for improvisation so that I have the room to alter then plan without causing a major paradigm shift. Lord knows there have been enough unexpected items over the years. I'm left to wonder why I've been lucky enough to minimize those.

I believe that there's a reason for everything that nothing is truly random in this universe; the turbulence of others and my rumbling on make sense in some larger plan. A plan that I don't have a clue about, but have some sort of power in. It's just the way things work and I'm not complaining, I'm just left to wonder about it sometimes.

I'm an incredibly lucky kid and I just wanted to thank the universe for that.

Posted by nenie at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Back in the day Fesser and I used to spin at IMSA wing dances under the tags "Spic and Span." Latter on Bierz showed up and would help us out, we called him Brillo. It wasn't a bad gig. We'd show up, spin some Moby, Pet Shop Boys, Erasure and maybe "Brown Eyed Girl" and call it a night. Life was pretty good.

When I went to Carleton I kept it up, kinda. The name went away (except in my own head where this was all still a progression of the DJ Span era) and I didn't do so much live mixing anymore. I'd make tapes and later CDs that would be played at parties.

At some point, I went against Alphasarah's advice and ran for Party Czar. It seemed like a really good idea at the time, I figured it would allow me to really be DJ Span again- on a regular basis, for some relatively popular parties. Seemed like a good idea, yknow?

Thing is, Players' Parties didn't really work the way I hoped they would. There was a formula to the Players' mix and very little deviation from the playlist was tolerated. I did well within the parameters, but it was still kinda rough.

It was about that time that I hooked up with CK and we started throwing our own parties with our own mixes. These were experimental in a way that the Players' formula wouldn't let me. It was as good as partnering up with Fesser back in the day. Good music, with people who wanted to dance.

Funny thing is, I'm really attached to the Players' mixes. While the Manifesto mixes I did with CK were good, the solo mixing I did for the Players' Parties hold a really soft spot in my heart. I even gained a small cult following of people who really liked these mixes. It was a pretty cool feeling, really. Having people request copies of mixes I'd made. It'd happened for my normal mixes, but never for a dance mix. It made all the other crap that Alphasarah had warned me about seem worthwhile. Just so long as I could keep people into my mixes.

As spring of my senior year wore on, I realized that that the last Players' mix would be DJ Span's last. His time was up, and I figured I wouldn't ever really make another dance mix afterI graduated. It was time to hang up DJ Span's metaphorical headphones. With that in mind I poured everything DJ Span had learned into making that last mix. The last of which was entitled DJ Span Has Left the Building.

It was perhaps the best mix I ever made.

Sadly, there are no surviving copies. The day after graduation I made the mistake of loaning the only copy to a friend of mine. The mix was never seen again. Not even a playlist remains.

I'd really like to get that mix back, see what DJ Span's last ride was like. But alas, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. I know it's silly to be so attached to something as silly as a few CDs, but those CDs were such a big part of my life, I'd at least like to know what was going through my mind when I made them.

Which brings me to the present. DJ Slim Mochachino is on the scene and picking up where DJ Span left off. I'm going through the motions again and finding that I really like the work I used to do. DJ Slim Mochachino Presents: Phoenix- Vol 1 Should drop in the new year, and I'm getting excited. CK is back on board, giving me suggestions, along with some new cats, Cornelius the Don and BoBo. Span never had balance, it was either all collaboration or all lone wolf; Slim's found balance.

I guess that's what this is all about, right?

Posted by nenie at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

No, really- she does. Last night I was talking to her and the inevitable game of "guess what I'm getting you for Xmas" started up. At some point in the game she started to worry that I was going to spend too much money on her presents. I kept telling her not to worry about it, so she deadpanned-

"Don't worry, I can always pick up another boyfriend on the side to supplement my presents."

Yeah, so funny, so quick, how can I resist?

In other news, I really need to come up with a top ten ways you know I'm on LJ, but until then, I'll just lead by example. Here's the Rolling Stone meme. Translation: which of Rolling Stone's Top 500 Albums do I own. Here's a preview. . .I own 57 of them. Some on Tape, some on LP, some on CD. as Bryiarrose mentioned on her LJ, it's really amazing to see how many of these artists I own greatest hits albums for, rather than whole separate albums. Also interesting is how many of these I didn't buy because Gunder or Fesser owned them back in the day.

That said, I'd really like to own a lot more of these albums, but alas. . .

1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles

2. Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys

3. Revolver, The Beatles

5. Rubber Soul, The Beatles

10. The Beatles ("The White Album"), The Beatles

12. Kind of Blue, Miles Davis

17. Nevermind, Nirvana

26. The Joshua Tree, U2

47. A Love Supreme, John Coltrane

62. Achtung Baby, U2

66. Led Zeppelin IV, Led Zeppelin

72. Purple Rain, Prince

75. Led Zeppelin II, Led Zeppelin

81. Graceland, Paul Simon

87. The Wall, Pink Floyd

89. Dusty in Memphis, Dusty Springfield

96. Tommy, The Who

110. The Bends, Radiohead

115. Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs, Derek and the Dominos

135. Greatest Hits, Elton John

139. All That You Can't Leave Behind, U2

156. Paul's Boutique, Beastie Boys

163. 1999, Prince

165. Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye

167. Master of Puppets, Metallica

170. Live at Leeds, The Who

180. The Definitive Collection, Abba

207. Ten, Pearl Jam

217. Licensed to Ill, Beastie Boys

221. War, U2

237. Like a Prayer, Madonna

247. Automatic for the People, R.E.M.

252. Metallica, Metallica

260. Buena Vista Social Club , Buena Vista Social Club

261. Tracy Chapman, Tracy Chapman

278. The Immaculate Collection, Madonna

297. Weezer (Blue Album), Weezer

300. Fear of a Black Planet, Public Enemy

310. BloodSugarSexMagik, Red Hot Chili Peppers

311. MTV Unplugged in New York, Nirvana

312. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, Lauryn Hill

317. The Eminem Show, Eminem

336. Superunknown, Soundgarden

341. Play, Moby

360. Siamese Dream, The Smashing Pumpkins

361. Substance, New Order

363. Ray of Light, Madonna

373. Post, Bjork

377. CrazySexyCool, TLC

417. Boy, U2

419. Dummy, Portishead

439. In Utero, Nirvana

441. Tragic Kingdom, No Doubt

452. Music, Madonna

461. How Will the Wolf Survive?, Los Lobos

470. Document, R.E.M.

492. Vitalogy, Pearl Jam

Posted by nenie at 09:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Pablo Neruda once said "Perhaps I haven not just lived in my own life, perhaps I have lived in the lives of others." It's a quote that I use a lot, actually. Most longtime readers of the Nenie story are probably sick of hearing it, but the past few days have hammered home exactly how true this is.

Maybe it's the trip home. Maybe it's seeing The Grandmastah both physically and psychically last night. Maybe it's the water; I'm not entirely sure what it is but something has me in this wicked introspective mood. I keep thinking about the ways we all influence each other's stories. The ways in which our respective inks run onto each other's pages, forever altering the way in which we read our own stories.

Mick Foley's back on Raw. This guy is, without a doubt, my favorite wrestler of all time. Wrestling just isn't the same for me without him around, he's just consistently a lot more fun to watch than the rest of the guys out there. Needless to say, I'm really jazzed that he's back on TV. Yet it wasn't the same as it used to be. Foley's back, and this time he has an edge to him that really hasn't been there for a long time. He's more serious, darker and still the same goofball he's always been. I guess that's the leitmotif right now. The past is back, but it isn't.

We all change, change is a good thing. That's what I've been seeing all around me lately. As we go through life, our relationships with those around us change- it's just the way things are. The interesting part is to look at the ways in which the changes effect us. What happens when old relationships are altered by the realities of today? Is it that we are having illuminated for us parts of our past, parts of our stories that we were blinded to? Is it that things have changed so much that we've truly "grown apart" from those who have so fundamentally altered our own scripts?

Sometimes people leave our lives, but the threads they contributed to our stories remain. The shitty part of this is that we will forever compare new strands to these older ones. "Is this the same color?" we ask, all the while worried that we're setting ourselves up for a disappointing story arc by allowing there to be a new contributor of aquamarine strands.

Which brings me to the part that sucks about all this. You can't forget the past, you can't totally let go of all your baggage and move forward. You can try, and I've seen some people actually succeed. But in the process they've had to burn down so many bridges that they've forgotten who they are in the process. We need each other, desperately, when we burn these bridges, we are forgetting large parts of who we are. You cannot erase others' ink stains off your own pages without taking some of your ink off too. That's just the way it is. It's just what makes life the complicated mess it is.

I for one, think it's marvelous.

Posted by nenie at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

The plan for today was simple. Fly to Kansas City, drive to Lawrence, meet The Grandmastah for lunch at Yello Sub, go to my office hours. . .

Then my plane was delayed on approach.

That totally messed with my timing. I was late getting to KC, late getting to Yello Sub, late getting to office hours. And then no one came to said office hours. It was a bit of a long day.

But it was good to see him, it's amazing I always forget how much I miss people, how much they mean to me- until I see them for a too brief period of time. Even with that truncated time with him, he's everywhere today.

I was sitting in the gym, pedalling away on the bike, watching Sportscenter when they put the new Men's NCAA Basketball rankings up on the screen. Lo and behold KU's number 1. The first big KU fan I ever met was The Grandmastah, and so even with him gone, he was still there, hanging out with me.

And then there was the kid. Some kid got on the treadmill in front of me wearing a shirt that read, "Hey Roy, it's OK. We'd rather play with our Self."

Yup, The Grandmastah just wouldn't leave me alone. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Posted by nenie at 10:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)