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9.11.01: Something About Process

process
something about
process

i've been told many times in my short life
that things are really about the process
it's not about the outcome so much
its the process you go through
to reach that end product

so i've been attempting to process this day
none of it makes sense really
and i think that is what's making this so difficult
we are not conditioned to expect these things
this is not supposed to happen to us
we're
Americans

for better or for worse
God has created us in the image of America
whatever that may be

injust
bloodthirsty
murdering
intolerant
compassionate
benevolent
heroic
just

God has created us in the image of America
for better or for worse
whatever that image may be

but again
it is all about
the process

maybe this day is the beginning of a process
maybe this day is the beginning of us rediscovering what an American is
periodic revolutions
are good for the soul
or so jefferson thought

but he owned slaves
and didn't really mean it when he said that all men were created equal
he meant
all white, land owning men
no women need apply

so maybe he was wrong about revolution being good for our soul
too

being an American in his time
was about believing in the promise of America
and Americans
believing in God
the father
creator of heaven
and
earth

it's not so easy anymore
today we know the asterisks of jefferson's truths held
self
evident

we read the fine print
and decided that if America didn't want its
colored
queer
female
mexican
muslim
masses yearning to breathe free
then we didn't want America

today
maybe we are redefining America
maybe we are redefining Americans

if you feel anger at what has happened
you are an American
if you feel sadness for the lives lost
you are an American
if you wish this day could be relived and somehow changed
you are an American

today
so many more of us are Americans
than were when we went to bed 24 hours ago
today there are Americans the world over
for today
America is not just a place on a map
bordered by oceans won through genocide
and lines drawn through politics
today
America is a place in the heart of every person around the world who believes in freedom

today
America is an idea
just as it was 226 years ago

today
the sins of the father have been washed from our hands
the tears of his children have cleansed us all

today
we go about the work of recreating a new America
devoid of the shortcomings that damned the original creation to be torn asunder by hate and greed

watching my tv today
tucked away in a corner of the middle of this great land
i saw the worst of man
and the best of Americans

and i cried
or i would have cried
if my tears wouldn't have felt as impotent as the ones that roll through my mind

i cried not for the dead
not for those who have lost fathers
mothers
daughters and sons

i cried not for the lovers
and friends
aunts and uncles who perished

but i cried for how we got here
the process
it's all
about
the process

i cried for the countless families around the world
who have had to wake up to find that their innocent family
has had someone killed by a u.s. bomb

i cried for the souls of those putting fear in the hearts of their neighbors
by raising gas prices
out of sheer greed

i cried because the sins of the father
are being paid for
with the blood of the son

i cried because
the entropy of evil
is a calculus that no mortal can figure

when we create evil
we send it out into the world
and it must be done onto someone
somehow
somewhere

today the evil of our forefathers
has been done unto us
we did not ask for it
we did not deserve it
but it has been done

love can create
more than hate can destroy
believe this my brothers and sisters
believe in this truth
that should be so self evident
that we place it in the pantheon
with life
liberty
and the pursuit of happiness

evil has been done
and if we send this evil out into the world
our children
or their children
will have it fall upon their heads

for their sake
we must end this now
we must take the evils of our ancestors
and squash it now
under our loving thumbs

today
i have seen the worst of man
the best of Americans
and the smiling face of God in all of it
believe my brothers and sisters
believe in love
believe in ourselves
and that we shall overcome
some
day

God bless us all